How Emotions Are Made

How Emotions Are Made—and How We Can Get Better at Handling Them

Emotions often feel like forces of nature—intense, sudden, and outside our control. But as Lisa Feldman Barrett explains in her groundbreaking book How Emotions Are Made, they’re far more intricate and dynamic than we might think.

At their core, emotions are complex phenomena arising from three main ingredients:

1. Your nervous system’s state – the baseline level of arousal or calmness your body experiences.

2. Bodily sensations – physical signals like a racing heart, clenched muscles, or butterflies in the stomach.

3. Thoughts – your mind’s interpretations of these sensations, influenced by past experiences and context.

For instance, anxiety before a big presentation might be a mix of heightened heart rate, sweaty palms, and thoughts like, “I’m not ready” or “What if I mess up?” The same physical sensations could, in a different context—like before a race—be labeled excitement.

Emotions aren’t just random. They’re signals from your psyche, trying to communicate something vital about your needs. Anxiety might signal a need for preparation. Sadness may point to a need for comfort or reflection. Learning to recognize these signals and respond appropriately is the essence of emotional intelligence.

Training for Emotional Mastery

Handling emotions isn’t about suppressing them but becoming skilled at navigating them. One powerful way to train this skill is through physical exercise.

When you work out, you intentionally place yourself in states of discomfort: your heart pounds, your breathing quickens, and your muscles burn. By staying present and riding through these sensations, you teach your body and mind that discomfort is manageable. Over time, this builds emotional resilience—the ability to stay grounded in challenging situations, both physical and emotional.

Conscious movement, such as strength training, yoga, or running, also helps develop interoception—your awareness of internal sensations like tension, relaxation, or hunger. This deepened connection with your body makes it easier to recognize and label emotions as they arise. For example, the tightness in your chest you might have ignored before becomes identifiable as the first signs of anxiety. This awareness is a crucial step toward handling emotions constructively.

My Own Experience: From Anxiety to Excitement

Before I gave my first-ever workshop, I was overwhelmed with anxiety. My chest tightened, my heart raced, and my breathing became shallow—sensations I knew well from years of intense workouts. But instead of resisting these feelings, I leaned into them.

I recognized that these sensations weren’t that different from those I experienced during a HIIT session or a sprint. I knew I had navigated these states before and survived. By reframing the sensations in my chest as a sign of readiness, I was able to reinterpret my anxiety as excitement.

That shift gave me the freedom to show up fully for the workshop, despite the fear. This ability to change your relationship with emotions—rather than be controlled by them—is a pathway to true freedom. It allows you to act as you wish in the world, even in the face of challenges.

The Takeaway

Emotions are complex, deeply human signals meant to guide us. With practice, we can learn to listen, interpret, and respond to them more skillfully. Whether through mindfulness, therapy, or physical activity, every effort to engage with our emotional world helps us build resilience and understanding.

If handling emotions feels overwhelming or you’re curious about building this skill, reach out—I’m here to support your journey.